BOZO
LIFE OF LIES
LORD OF LIES

Bozo readies one of his future factory workers for the mines.		 Bozo brought clowns to the budding tv audience in the 1940s. But who was Bozo, really? Some naive people will give you the names of a handful of actors, spouting their love for children and various comedic talents. That; however, is a lie. A lie someone very sinister would love for you to believe. A lie spread by none other than his Satanic Majesty: Lucifer. Playing to a live audience of kids in the studio, El Diablo himself would dress in the familiar blue and red costume of the friendly clown Bozo and work his evil amongst an unknowing crowd of eager victims. No one can deny the sinister power of the somehow alluring grease painted, garishly dressed clown. Leave it to Satan to capitalize on something so malicious in nature.
Hollywood had been an instrument of promotion for Satan since its inception. From promiscuous sex to smoking, all need be done was to portray a sin in gleaming light on the big screen and lo and behold, it was in vogue. Business was booming. So it should be no surprise that the devil decided to use this blissful venue to snare the souls of wee-uns. Splitfoot was heard once to say that TV was almost  better than the Bible for promoting just what NOT to do.

Bozo's true nature is all too evident
in this photo.

In a moment of  candour, you can 
see the hateful intent of our 
antagonist.		 The first quandary faced by the Lord of Lies was that of the appearance of his guile. He needed something endearing yet somehow menacing. It took no great leap of logic that he should don the gay apparel of a clown. The next step to supping on the souls of the innocent was his marketing approach. Satan liked the idea of being one on one with the little ankle biters, the better to reap the benefit of their suffering, and better yet, train them to do his bidding. So he selected a live one hour programme, with himself as the comedy cornerstone. All throughout the show he would ply the children with products. Products they would force their parents to purchase, thus lining the already gold heavy pockets of Ol' Scratch himself.
It was television heaven for Mr Morningstar. An ironic fate for one hurled from the very steppes of Paradise by one surly and just a bit miffed Lord G*d Almighty. Needless to say, this was a political coup that old Beelzebub could crow over for many a mid day brunch with his fair weather friend, Yahweh. While at first this caused some hard feeling between the two on again off again friends, both eventually agreed that all was going well in the struggle for balance. And G*d really didn't want Girls Scouts hassling him with cookies in heaven anyway.

Bozo says sell cookies for Satan!
Notice him plotting which countries he intended to subvert next. For years all went as planned. Youths by the score would file willingly into the studios and do Satan's bidding e'er so anxiously. But as all thing's glory fade with the passing of time, so did his enthusiasm for his plot. The Devil grew weary of the constant pie throwing, the balloon animals and worst yet, the Boy Scouts. Fortunately, he was able to hire the Catholic Church to contract out all work on the young Weebalos. 
Nevertheless, it was time for things to change. The day of Free Love had arrived, and children had pot and sex to concern themselves with, not some disillusioned clown in baggy clothing. Unwilling to give up yet, Satan set the task to Hell's new up and comer Nergal and set off for greener gardens. He had apples to pass out and saviours in deserts to taunt. Nergal was ready for the job, and though the studio audience waned, he continues the charade to the this day, scooping up whatever weak willed children wander into his demonic grasp. Much as he has possession of your very soul, now. Just because you read this.

DUN DUN DUN!

Devilish hands find ways to touch young bums!

Now for a peck o pics... because I love to crash your browser with pics! DIE, EXPLORER! DIE!!!!


Yup. It's cancer alright, Timmy.
You gonna die!
Lookit Bozo hog the limelight from the kidlet he's stuffing under his armpit! Brimstone BO!
Bad news!
Bozo demonstrates how children should 
initiate vulgar sex acts with balloons for 
tithing money 
Sure, he's taking the pie in the kisser.... but backstage... This child will die.


Guess where we're gonna tell mom
to put this broom, kids!
Pretty unsavoury group of men to be 
hanging with children, chomping their cigars and loafin'.
Mmm, mmm.... tainted cake to keep the 
workers workin'...
Beelzebub's middle name is "Capitalist Pig". So BUY DAMN YOU!


See you in hell, losers!

Did I miss a colourful moniker for Satan? Please! Entertain me with new amazing names for this entertaining mythical man! I did this late at night with no sleep and much caffeine, so no doubt I missed many! All names offered shall be used somewhere. I swear it. Because swearing too, is sinful, and you know how I love to push my luck, being an atheist and all.