Usage applicable to string.
First you must have some. Retrieve it. Be it unravelled from your favourite shirt, a feedbag, or your mum's sewing kit, fetch it and bring it to your computer. Then sit down and shut up.
Now let's get started. We have string. We now must use it. Below is a list of things for you to choose from to do with your afore-mentioned string.
Tie string tightly around a limb or digit. (Or your winky, guys). Leave it. Limb, digit or winky will eventually fall off. Free amputation! Cool, huh?*
Stretch a string across an aisle at Wal-Mart. Now trip a terrorist. You know terrorist will eventually strike Wal-mart, because THAT is the REAL way to hurt America. Take out Wal-mart! Just look for anyone who appears shifty. They're bound to be up to something. Then pull your trap taut, and BOOM! You've single handedly saved these great States!
Okay, another handy trick is to take your string, and tie up the terrorist you just captured. Do not tie him up too harshly. You know what happened to your winky.
Swinging across caverns. Yes, next time the bridge is out, just sling your string to the other side, tug to make sure its secure and swing across like Tarzan!
Make tiny lassos and go after the bugs in your apartment.
Make a tiny noose and execute them for crimes against humanity.
Grab your neighbour, slam him to the ground and hog-tie him. Remember as soon as he is secured, fling your hands in the air and yell "Done". This is a timed event. He'll love this jolly game. If he doesn't, refuse to free him.
Lace your shoes, stupid.
Take your dog for walkies using your string as a leash. Don't have a dog? Use your neighbour. He looks like the air will do him wonders!
Garrotte someone. Not your neighbour, you may need him later.
Suspend all your breakables from the ceiling. This will keep them safe. Place them closely together and turn on your ceiling fan for a wind chime effect.
Bind two people together that you dislike. Watch them bite and scratch one another in a futile attempt to escape.
Play with that poor cat of yours for once, dammit. Cats love string. And ham. Tie ham to the string for the best results. Even dead cats will chase ham on a string.
Make a bolo. Sling rocks at your enemies. If you haven't any enemies, the bolo will help you make some.
Macramé. This is only an option for hippies.
Weave your string back and forth in front of a door. Inform anyone who wanders into it that you are a Black Widow spider and they are your prey.
Dangle yourself from the string from the rafters. Tell passers-by you have defied gravity via your immense mental powers. Be wary of scissors.
Assemble William Shatner a hair piece. This may take some time.
Floss. This should be obvious in application. Silly goose.
String can be used as fuses for blowing things up. Remember your neighbour? This is where he comes in.
Dip the string into paint. Slap it on a canvas. Repeat until someone rich offers you millions or until you collapse.
Knit tiny head scarves for chipmunks, they being the noblest of creatures, aside from kiwis.
Cut your precious string into tiny pieces, making sure they are all of equal length, place each piece in a diagonal line approximately 1.756 inches away from one another. Now lay down, and look at them sideways. Do you see what I see? You've ruined your string. Go get some more. Wanker.
Tie it to your pinky to keep you from forgetting. The next morning you will see results! You didn't forget your pinky!
String beads. To keep this from being mundane, make it anal beads.
Bend a pin, tie your string to it. Tie the other end to a stick. Now go fishing, if the cat will let go of the ham, of course. If he won't - cast your line into the water anyway. Your cat will let go then.
Take your string onto a crowded bus. Jump rope with it. Do this and sing loudly. Something catchy, like I'm a Little Teapot or The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Talk to the string, rub it on your body in a seductive way and say loudly that it shouldn't be touching you there in public. Many people will leave quickly, and you will get a seat! Hooray!
Go to a gathering of politicians. Tie a hundred dollar bill to the string and drag it through the room. Run quickly, they're fast! Now get thee hence to the nearest cliff! Make as if to fling the money over the edge and the politicos will all follow it to their doom. Go back and gather up any stragglers. Repeat until the room is empty. You will be tired from all the mad dashing, but ah, the world is so much nicer now!
Crotchet a strait jacket for that nice neighbour of yours, unless your tried the fuse thing. If you did, a jacket is a moot point.
Stitch the lips of a stoolpigeon shut. That'll learn him. The same applies to kareoke singers.
Cat's cradle is fun to play while waiting for your bail to be paid.
Fling your string against the wall and try to divine the future by its shape upon impact with the floor. If it looks like a Hebrew letter, do it over. That is always asking for trouble when you get letters.
Tie your hair back into pigtails. Lots of them. Maybe 60. Especially if you're a guy.
Knot together ever piece of twine, yarn and string you can locate. Roll it into a ball. Continue until the ball is taller than you are. Shellac it. Now hollow it out and move in. Never come out as long as you live.

People who take their string damn seriously....
Cawker City, KS
Darwin, MN

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*If anyone is daft enough to loose a body part after reading this. I claim no responsibility. That's natural selection at work, dears.