Observations Between Two Slices of Bread

time to change
wrapping a sheet around my shoulders i stood on the porch as the storm came in
it wasn't the type you usually see,
gushing wind slamming shutters
pouring rain drowning the cats til they come howling to the door for pity
it was quiet and dim
but there was a storm brewing
a storm of change
not the overturning social change you see in war or diaster
but the subtle spectral shift of opinion
when you've been lied to so often you start to believe it
just because its easier than swimming against the current
the kind that makes neighbour hate neighbour
makes you wonder about anyone different
but there is trouble
because they're looking at me
because i am different
because i'm not even sensible enough to pretend

the politics of purgatory
the politics of purgatory are simple
eat your competition           ravish them           raze them

just like here
just like that
just that easy

ruin them        it's simple
a word   a glance   a glare   a ward
                              people are destroyed as easily as that
not all of them of course
some take work
but most crumble from within
                            once you chip away the veneer
try it, it's simple

pick a victim & devastate them
                                             just for the hell of it
 

affection infection
the g*ddamn dogs howl all night
sirens pierce the air and somewhere...
somewhere you knew something awful has happened
but you're warm safe at home so it doesn't affect you does it?
so you go to your favourite petrol station the next day
and there's yellow tape and the place is closed
huge plywood pieces cover the shattered windows.
there was a robbery someone tells you
shot the nightclerk, they're a goner
and on the way to work you stop at another fill up
wondering... was it the geeky kid with the big glasses?
isn't he going to college?
hope it isn't him, he's always decent...
but the blonde gal there, she has kids
hope it isn't her, she's a nice sort...
maybe the retired cop - he has a gun, won't take shit off anyone
hope it isn't him, he cracks the best jokes...
so who should it have been?
and why is affecting you?
you were safe warm at home
dog days
so this is how it is
the cold glare your back turned stiff
you will ignore me
good
it makes it easier for me
easier to slink away like a dog
the dog you beat then call to console
one day i won't come
one day this dog will have its day
not today though
there is suffering you've yet to teach me
and i am always willing to learn a new trick

i am blinded
the open hand of fate slung sand in my eyes
mote for mote i am blinded
tit for tat you may say
i have been blind for years
to step over the prostrate beggar as i enter the train
my shekels will not save him
not my fault
walk by the old woman her heat is not working
she is old her time is limited and tomorrow
there will be another to replace her
not my doing
pass by the boy as his parent slaps him to his knees
he is her child, not mine, i continue walking
not my affair
bombs drop buildings collapse politicos posture children die animals extinct forests fall oceans mire sailors drown books burn churches crumble mosques vandalled temples rent spirits asunder bones break love lost earth shifts lava flows people cease
not my fault
not my doing
not my affair
the open hand of fate has flung sand in my eyes
i am blinded

love's a many splintered thing
torn and empty tossed and flung
to rocky shores and left undone
does she love me
love me not
do i love her
i forgot
taloned fingers down my back
forked tongue in my ear
whisper mulitudes of lies
that only i can hear

love's a many splintered thing
of that i can be sure
shudder through a night of dreams
that only she can cure
bitter pills do bitter things
silver tarnished
broken rings
pick the pieces of  love's lies
and stick them in your skin
love's a many splintered thing
that leaves your soul too thin


 

tomorrow
i should shed my skin
just like the snake
and leave my old life
in its wake
no longer who i was
i'd stop being
just because
i could quickly halt
in being my self
and go off to be
someone else

so
so this is life
so what
so
now what
what now
oh
never mind
skin
paper thin skin
left beneath the boards
discarded
useless
and yet i take it
i'll make it
useful
if not only for its beauty
even snake's shed skin
is more lovely than i
my so-called life
i cannot remember my name
it isnt important
i was no one anyone called
i think
but i forget

i eat the crumbs of affection the dogs leave
its enough to sustain me
more than enough
i can feed on famine and drink drought

table for one,
suffering enough for legion
i watch my reflection in the fork
and set it down again
i have had enough crow
thank you
i'm full

you make me worthless
i am the most alone in your presense
i am a stepping stone for you
nothing more
your feet will push me beneath the water
and hold me there
until my struggles cease
i will ebb in with the tide perhaps
driftwood
for the gulls to perch on

polish my bones with a felt cloth
until they shimmer
like stones
cook them in the fires
make them like glass
more brittle
less dense
my marrow will sizzle away
leaving you hollow remnants of my spine
you can use it to make jewelry
to make me worthless
 


HOME
INDEX